The Why Not Me? Concept

liveinconfidence
Aug 11
2 min read

For most of my life, my first reaction to disappointment, loss, or failure was the same two words: Why me?

It was a question rooted in helplessness, in the belief that life was happening to me and that I was somehow powerless to change it. When things went wrong, I took it personally—like the universe had drawn my name from a hat marked “Unlucky”.

I didn’t realize that “Why me?” was keeping me stuck. It was cementing my identity in victimhood, even long after the worst of the storm had passed. It gave my pain a permanent seat at the table and convinced me that my worth was conditional—something I had to earn through overgiving, overworking, or being chosen by someone else.

But one day, I asked a different question:

Why not me?

It was subtle at first, almost a whisper. But over time, it became a roar.“Why not me?” was no longer a question of defeat—it was a declaration of possibility.

From Victimhood to Empowerment

“Why not me?” doesn’t erase what happened. It doesn’t deny the heartbreak, trauma, or unfairness of the past. It says: I didn’t choose what happened to me, but I can choose what happens next.

This shift changes everything. It turns the energy of hopelessness into courage. It moves you from waiting for permission to permitting yourself.

Worthiness Isn’t Earned—It’s Remembered

One of the biggest lies we’ve been sold is that worthiness is something we earn—through achievement, perfection, or being wanted. But worthiness is our birthright. If it’s possible for someone else, it’s possible for you, too.

Breaking the Cycle

“Why not me?” is the rally cry of cycle breakers—the ones who end generational trauma, toxic loyalty, and self-abandonment. It’s not just about changing your life—it’s about changing what’s possible for everyone who comes after you.

The Courage to Try

Sometimes courage looks like a big, sweeping change. But more often, it’s the quiet decision to try again. To walk away from what’s breaking you. To apply anyway. To speak up anyway. To love yourself first.

An Invitation to Growth

“Why not me?” cracks open the door to possibility. It invites you to stop playing small, to step fully into your own story, and to live as though you’re already enough—because you are.

I created The Why Not Me? Concept to help people rewrite their stories, reclaim their worth, and live on purpose. It’s not about perfection. It’s about permission. It’s about refusing to be defined by the worst thing that ever happened to you—and instead, using it as the foundation for the best things yet to come.

So, I’ll ask you—just like I asked myself:

Why not you?

Becky Shaffer

To Pre-order "The Why Not Me? Concept" go to www.liveinconfidence.com