Outgrowing the Old Version of Yourself

by Becky Shaffer | The Why Not Me? Concept

Growth is rarely comfortable — because it asks us to leave behind the familiar versions of ourselves we once fought hard to become.

You know the one:

The version that learned how to keep the peace, even when your own heart was in chaos.

The version that stayed small to make others feel comfortable.

The version that played it safe because disappointment had once cut too deep.

The version that over gave — not because you didn’t know your worth, but because somewhere along the way, you were taught love had to be earned.

That version was necessary once. It carried you through heartbreak, uncertainty, and survival. It helped you navigate relationships, jobs, and seasons that demanded your strength. But as time passes and healing begins, that same version can start to feel heavy — like clothes that no longer fit.

And that’s the quiet, sacred tension of growth. You start to sense that the armor that once protected you is now what’s holding you back. You catch yourself saying yes when your soul means no. You sit in spaces that no longer align with your peace and feel the ache of pretending.

Letting go of those old versions isn’t betrayal — it’s bravery. It’s the realization that survival is no longer the goal — becoming is. That is What "The Why Not Me? Concept" is all about...Becoming....

Getting out of your own way.

Healing doesn’t ask us to erase who we were. It invites us to honor who we had to be, the version that did the best it could with what it knew.

You don’t have to resent the parts of you that once coped by over thinking, over doing, or over loving. Those parts were simply trying to keep you safe. They were the protectors that helped you survive seasons when peace wasn’t available and boundaries weren’t yet built.

Healing is not about rejecting your past self; it’s about understanding who you WERE. It's sitting with YOU and saying, “Thank you for getting me this far, but I’ve got it from here.”

It’s the gentle unlearning of patterns that once kept you afloat but now keep you stuck. It’s recognizing that growth isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about freeing yourself.

Becoming someone new doesn’t mean starting over from nothing. It means building upon the wisdom, resilience, and lessons your old self fought for. It’s allowing grace to replace guilt. Compassion to replace criticism. Intention to replace survival.

And when you begin to live from that place, that balance between gratitude for who you were and courage for who you’re becoming, that’s where real transformation takes root.

And as uncomfortable as that process can be, it’s proof that you’re alive, aware, and still unfolding into your fullest self.

That’s what the Why Not Me? Concept is really about — recognizing that the parts of you that once survived are now ready to thrive. It’s about shifting from “Why me?” — the voice of limitation, fear, or self-doubt — to “Why not me?” — the voice of possibility, courage, and self-trust.

When you begin to see your evolution not as loss but as evidence of your becoming, you start to stand taller in your own story. You stop apologizing for growing. You stop dimming your light to fit into places that no longer reflect who you are.

Outgrowing the old version of yourself isn’t rejection — it’s reclamation. It’s the moment you say, “I deserve to live fully, love boldly, and rise unapologetically.”

So, pause for a moment and ask yourself —What have you outgrown that once defined you? And more importantly — why not you stepping into what comes next?

To dig deeper into your own “Why Not Me?” journey, order your copy of The Why Not Me? Concept today — available wherever books are sold, or get a personalized signed copy directly from me send an email to liveinconfidence@gmail.com and I will get your copy to you.

Becky Shaffer/ Educator/ Author/ Life Coach