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How Much Is Too Much?

Updated: Jul 31



Grinch Christmas card: "Merry Christmas"

I love the holidays, I love the family rituals, the lights, singing, driving around and looking at the Christmas lights with hot coco listing to Christmas music….However, I have come to find myself annoyed with every single store and drive thru asking for a donation.  I get it….I am a very giving person.  Even when I couldn’t give, I gave.


Today, I was asked to apply for a credit card to save 10%, then another store who now has their own bank card wanted me to get a bank card….Ummmmm through the check out line?  NO!   I was asked to buy a $6 meal for those in need at another place, at the grocery I was asked to round up to the nearest dollar for the food bank and on and on and on……I get it, as I love to give, but it has gotten so out of hand that I feel like the Grinch…NO…NO…NO….I finally told one place, that I gave to the last 6 places and I have to say no.  The guilt feeling and the other customers in line made my palms sweat.  Is this the tactic?   Get the customers in to a peer customer giving situation and they can’t say no or they look like an ass?


What happened to the spirt of simply donating Toys for Tots?  Adopting a family and making sure they have a great holiday?


I want to be very clear that I believe there is great value in being charitable and I know how fortunate I am to have any money to share. I also value the results that come when people and organizations who need money receive it. I love that my children are growing up in an environment where they are learning how to be a contributing member of their larger community.  My son donated $20 of his personal birthday money to the food shelter the other day.  We were checking out in line at Kroger.  It touched my heart and the cashiers.  That is what I love to see.  No one asked him.  He saw it and GAVE….


I feel overwhelmed. I know it is my prerogative to say ‘no,’ but saying no all day is exhausting and gives me a feeling I can only describe as bad. To prevent myself from feeling this way, I’ve developed two very poor strategies. One is to pretend I don’t hear the requests, but I know I’m not fooling anyone—including myself. The other is to contribute small amounts to a lot of different places.  I have also limited myself.  If I have rounded up at the grocery and donated to the salvation army person standing outside…I am done for the day.   

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